what we are not told about university

When starting university, we are often told it is going to be the best experience of our life. A way to make new friends, take classes to our interest, and live out of our parent’s house for the first time. Overall, university is painted as a magical experience and the start of our adult life.

I do not think the statements above apply to every single person starting university. Of course, we see people on social media having the time of their lives, but this does not take into account the not-so-great experiences people have, including me.

I moved out of my parent’s house right before I turned 18. I was excited, thinking it would be an incredible experience and gaining some independence from my hometown and all the failed things that came along with it. It genuinely was good at first. I made a few friends, skipped most of my classes (like an idiot, do not do this), and spent the majority of my time with my girlfriend. I thought I was truly living life to the fullest extent. After, the realization hit. I was living alone as a woman in Toronto, in a tiny studio apartment that cost a fortune, and all at once, the loneliness hit.

Fast forward to now, I have gained 40 pounds, started medication for my mental health issues, and live much further from school in a cheaper apartment that has bugs and mice. I got a hamster in the first year which did help a bit, but it was nothing compared to what I was going to be experiencing for the first time. My GPA has dropped substantially, I am absolutely broke, and feel homesick for my parents. I spend more time with my parents than I do in Toronto at this point because I genuinely hate it.

Along with all this, I live with regret.

I declined the offer to my dream school (which was sadly UOttawa) over a girl and I could not face her. I had a nice scholarship, made friends who were also going there, and met the girl that I had very much fallen in love with. Of course, I messed it up, did not end up going there because of it, and am now stuck in a city, school, and overall everything that I hate.

Things do get better, I hope. I plan for the future. I want to move to the east coast of Canada and continue schooling there. I want to begin to live my life to the fullest. Without any baggage or anything else holding me back. I have been stuck in a constant cycle of depression and anxiety and I truly want to change that.

Whoever is going through the same experiences as me, I hope it gets easier for you too. I hope you are able to work to move on from your past because I try every day to do so as well.

You all deserve the best in life.